Today was supposed to be my first day of Bible study. I woke up and made a batch of chocolate chip cookies as some sort of peace offering to the women of my group who would have to tolerate my lack of faith, not to mention my endless series of questions. At about1pm, my husband showed me his elbow. It looked seriously puffy and weird. I told him he should go to the Care Now to get it checked out before he went on the road for a week. Since it was 99 degrees outside today and his 65 Ford doesn’t have A/C, he took my car. I figured he’d be home in plenty of time for me to get to the meeting at four.
What do they say about the best laid plans?
Yeah, well, we all know how that story ends. So, when my hubby called at three to say he was still waiting to be seen, I called a friend who was also going to the Bible study to ask for a ride. I left her a voice mail and about twenty-minutes later I texted her. Then I called the leader of the Bible Study to let her know I would probably be late. That call also went to voicemail.
Neither call was returned by Four-o’-clock. Was this a sign? I could be completely creating this all in my neurotic noggin’, but I kind of got the feeling that my presence was no longer requested. Why? Well, for one, I’m a writer and I guess the rules that apply to Vegas also apply to women’s Bible study groups—what happens at the Bible study stays at the Bible study. Unless, of course you’ve invited a spiritually questing writer to observe said Bibly study, then all bets are off. I probably wouldn’t want me there either. This got me thinking that I may need to do this inquiry into religion without telling anyone I’m doing it. Because once people know, they’ll either act differently or else they’ll shut down and won’t want to talk to me.
What to do? What to do?
Should I be like Groucho Marx who once said, “Please accept my resignation. I don’t want to belong to any club that will accept people like me as a member.”
We interrupt this regularly scheduled blog post for a very important message.
Okay, so my friend, the first one I called, just texted me back to say she’d fallen asleep and didn’t go. So, I guess I was just being paranoid about them not wanting me there.
But then I also thought, maybe I’m making this all manifest to prevent me from partaking in the Bible Study. Did I send my husband off with my car so I wouldn’t have a ride? Do I put my own road blocks up because I’m scared of being judged?
So, I guess I’ve got to ask myself, what would Jesus do?
I prefer being upfront and honest with people, but maybe this journey really isn’t about other people and what they do. It’s more about what I do. So, should I attend the next Bible study? Or should I go it alone on a covert mission?
What do you think would work best if my mission is to discover my religion, while also writing about the experience?